You the fat or skinny guy?
Fat guy and skinny guy in the bathroom taking a leak. Fat guy is fumbling with his pants trying to get his tool out under his big belly and skinny guy can't help but notice that he is having trouble and asks, "damn, how long has it been since you seen your d**k"?
Fat guy says, "long time".
Skinny guy says, "Why don't you diet"?
Fat guy replies, "what color is it now"?